Helping children cope with divorce

If you are separating or divorcing when you have children, it is likely you are worried about the impact it will have on them. Divorcing can be stressful and children can often pick up on this stress.

Some tips which may help your children to cope with divorce:

Present as a team to the children

Try to tell the children important information together. If they see you together, they are more likely to see that you are sharing the decisions about them and that you are still Mum and Dad working together for them.

When deciding living arrangements, don’t make them choose between parents – how can they possibility choose when they love you both?   Instead decide together as parents what would work best, then include your Children in the discussions about contact arrangements.  It is crucial to make sure they are happy with them.  It’ll pay off in the long term.

Remind them that you will always both be their parents and that you both still love them whatever else is happening; they are likely to need some reassurance. Be clear that none of what is happening is their fault and make sure that the children are not involved in any disagreements between you both.

Although it is likely to be difficult try to speak about the other parent in a positive way, if you speak about them in a negative way, this is ultimately only going to create negative feeling towards you both, especially as the Children grow older.

Be honest

It is important to be honest with the children and let them know what is happening. However, it is important to share this information at an age-appropriate level. If you have more than one child it may be sensible to break the news to them separately, so that you can explain in an appropriate way; this will give the children a chance to ask questions they have without being interrupted.


It is important to remember to take time for yourself. Try and keep your emotions in check around the children and try and maintain some of your usual routine, which should benefit you all.

Look out for behaviour cues

Your children may show you that they are not coping well with behavioural changes, such as rebelling (in older children), or bed-wetting (in younger children). There may be difficulty at school or sadness at home. If you are worried about how your child is coping, speak to the school or your GP.  

Use a lawyer who adheres to the resolution code of conduct

Helping children cope with divorce is a huge aspect involved during this particularly difficult and emotional time. Hepburn Delaney understands the sensitive nature of this situation and offers a mediation service to help manage the process with the best interests of the children at the heart. Hepburn Delaney are Resolution Accredited Specialists ensuring that all matters are dealt with in a way which avoids unnecessary conflict.

If you are going through a separation or divorce Hepburn Delaney Solicitors are here to help you, please contact us or call 01442 218090. Alternatively, read more about our family mediation services and other support through your divorce.